Part of my goals for this year was to really figure out what I want to do with my life. I realized a few years ago in the middle of all of my music education classes that I really didn't like being a director. I don't like standing in front of a group of students and telling them what they are doing wrong all of the time. I also despise conducting...so I decided that music education wasn't for me. I then started to pursue the performance aspect full force. I loved getting to delve into projects and pieces and really take them apart to make them my own and playing in orchestra and chamber music were my favorite parts of the week.
Now I'm student teaching and I have rediscovered the reason I chose music education. My mom is a very inspirational person. She went back to college when I was in elementary school to get her degree in English and Elementary Education. Now she teaches 2nd grade. When I was a senior in high school I had a "future crisis"...I realized that the path I had been following towards astrophysics wasn't for me. I was burned out academically.
During that period of unknown, I practiced my violin fiercely and spent a lot of time in my mom's classroom. Looking back, before now I couldn't tell you why I picked music education. It just seemed to make sense at the time. Now I see that I absolutely loved being in that elementary school. The kids helped me see that some of the most important things you can do in life are very small, but they can have huge impacts.
I want to teach elementary school music. Coming to this realization was slow for me because I have pursued the performance aspect of violin/music with such zealous for the last 2 years, but I know that I have made the right choice. I also know that by pursuing performance, I will still be able to enjoy playing in an orchestra and maybe giving recitals, but in the end, I'll wake up every morning to see lots of smiling faces in my music classroom.